This blog post was inspired by the Mint Velvet We Are Woman Podcast . Where woman from all wonderful parts of the world talk about their favourite pieces of clothes and how what they wear make them feel a certain way.
It was from listening to the podcast that got me thinking about what I wore/wear now.
When I was at university, I used to wear black tops, black skinny jeans, a brightly coloured blazer and some colourful footwear. If I was feeling a little more relaxed, I would wear my jazzy pants as I would call them- which are harem pants with all sorts of colours and patterns on.
My inspiration for wearing my colourful outfits started from when I went to see my favourite cabaret duo Frisky and Mannish .
I remember the characters being very flamboyant and dressing in all sorts of wacky/colourful outfits but in someway they still made it look cool. So I wanted in on this new fashion, I immediately went out and bought a range of coloured blazers.
And it made me feel happy, confident and I liked that I stood out. On the way to uni I would take two buses and a metro and I liked that on every part of my journey, I would stand out and people would notice what I would be wearing. Yes I would strut down every path like it was my own personal catwalk and it was great.
And in terms of footwear, this is what I used to and still wear whilst walking down the catwalk (pavement). Again Frisky and Mannish also influenced my fashion on my feet, I like how my footwear stands out and the bright colours make put a smile on my face.
I remember in FnM Just Too Much Show, Frisky wore these amazing pair of black wedges and she was so confident dance and jumping around in those shoes that I wanted a pair.
Safe to say now, I do own 2 pairs of similar wedges and I like to wear them for an interview or on a night out to the theatre etc . I feel confident and powerful wearing them, knowing that I can walk anywhere and I wont fall down in them.
What about now?
Well now, I am not so jazzy. Granted- that as I am writing this, I am wearing a big bright pink jumper with leggings just because it is sunny outside and I am trying to get in the mood for spring.
But usually I can be found wearing slacks, which will consist of a long sleeve jersey top, a jumper and grey joggers if I am lounging around the house. If I am going out and about, I just wear a graphic tee/ pattern tee/ colour tee and some jeans or jeggings with a hoodie or a cardi. Which to me, is not how I want to dress- it is like I have forgotten how to dress myself.
I work in retail part time and I try to create confidence in woman by helping them find something that makes them look good but I can’t even do that for myself. I think it is something to do with me hitting a wall. Because I have not found a ‘proper job’ yet in the industry I want, I have totally lost who I am and who I want to be. I have lost my confidence and I think that has totally affected how I dress and how I feel about myself.
Which is a shame, I want to be able to wear the blazer, the smart shirt and wear red lippy again- to get that confidence again and look like I have my shiz together. I think that is part of it, you see woman walking down the high street looking like something out of a magazine and I immediately think they have their life sorted out.
And I feel like I don’t, hence I don’t make the effort because I don’t feel sorted yet. Once I have my confidence back then I feel like I am allowed to wear those clothes that once made me like I had the world at my fingertips.