I am sat in my conservatory, staring at this blank screen not knowing what to write. We are in a strange time at the moment and I was not sure if I wanted to write about it or not. But blogging is a release for me, I can use it to express how I feel and I hope by blogging my emotions can help you guys too.
I am taking each day as it comes, at the start, I wanted to stick by a routine and do things by regiment but the truth is, it has not worked out like that because it is not how I feel. I am just taking each day by day and doing what I feel is right and if doing nothing feels right then that is what I will do.
I have been getting my CDs out my cupboard and listening to music, music that I used to listen to before Spotify and streaming etc and I have really enjoyed doing that. Listening to music brings out different emotions and can sometimes bring out memories that are connected to that piece of music. Now that there are so many music services out there, I end up listening to the charts- to what everyone else listens to but I don’t like doing that, it is lovely to listen to music and remember what it is like to be me.
I have been keeping in touch with my senses, really listening to my body and knowing what it wants. Feeling the hot sun (when it is hot) on my skin, when I eat and drink I really taste each flavour and take the time to really chew my food. I also like staring at a candle, I got my Mam a really nice one for mothers day and it smells amazing but I really like looking at the flame it is somehow calming.
Talking of staying in touch, I have been using social media more often to keep in touch with my friends and family. I was supposed to be going to Wales to see my family but obviously, I could not go so using social media is important more than ever to keep in touch with family.
We are lucky to have a nice garden and it tends to home some lovely birds and butterflies, I love sitting in the garden listening to the birds and watching nature around me. The garden is also full of greenery, plants and flowers and it is nice just to look out at greenery, especially as we can’t go out it is nice to look at the greenery rather than four walls in the house.
I have been feeling useless, I hear about all these key workers going out there- doing their bit and I have friends and family who are able to work from home. Because of my part-time job, I am unable to do that. So all I can do is stay at home, which I appreciate is helping the NHS but I feel silly just sitting at home. Surly as a Journalism Graduate, Blogger and supporter of my local community I should be out there doing something… I just feel rubbish and less of myself for not being able to help.
I already did this before the virus but I have been doing this more, I have been meditating and doing yoga to help relax my mind and my body. I sometimes find this whole situation overwhelming and I find mindfulness helps just to recentre, relax and calm myself down.
Up and Down
My emotions are going up and down, I have good and bad days, My emotions fluctuate because of that, my anxiety is right up there and I am learning to deal with it and find ways to help ground me. But there are days where I feel absolutely fine and I am quite enjoying being in the house, colouring-in and reading etc I just don’t know how I will feel till I wake up. It is all about listening to that, noting that is how I feel and understand what I can do to help my emotion.
Now I want to talk about this blog, obviously, if we were allowed out- you know I’d be doing Culture Trips and Theatre reviews. Sadly I can’t and I am struggling to find content so I apologise if I have not written anything new in a while. What I have been doing is reposting older content for you guys to read on my social media, it is better than nothing.
There may be times when I am silent on my blog but that is ok, don’t worry I just have days where I don’t want to post anything. Sometimes I just need silence.
I just want you guys to know that we are all in together and you are not alone, the whole world is experiencing this. And it is strange, we have never had to experience this before so it is new to all of us.
We will get through this and just think of what we will do once this is over. We will be able to go see our loves ones, we will be able to visit Culture Venues again, we can go for a meal in our favourite restaurants. That is what is getting me through, just thinking of getting back to normality again.
We are all doing the best we can, please stay safe, stay indoors, be kind to yourself and your friends and family.