Before lockdown, I was quite active- with work, dance, pilates, yoga etc I would do quite a lot. Now we are in lockdown, I am unable to do any of that. I can walk and maybe do some online classes but I am limited to what I can do.
This has resulted in anxiety in my eating and body image, I am really wary of what I eat and how much I eat. And I find myself now, eating a mix of fruit and chocolate.
If I am totally honest with you (which I am) I am scared of becoming overweight.
I see my family with their fit bits walking around the garden, getting their steps in obsessing about who has done what steps. I check my smartwatch and I have hardly done any, I am never that bothered about stuff like this but being in lockdown has created this anxiety over it.
I have gained this complex about fitness and eating, it is awful and not something I have experienced before. My brain is constantly thinking, I should or should not eat this or have I eaten too much. When there are times that I do yoga, I just think what is the point if I am not losing any weight, I should stop.
That leaves me sat or walking around the garden feeling low and rubbish about myself, I am scared that when I go back to normal and where proper clothes haha that I won’t fit in them.
The silly thing is, I don’t need to lose weight and I am happy with my body and I am confident in my skin but just sitting around and my brain on overload about this subject is making my question everything.
I even find myself looking more in the mirror, wondering if I still look ok and did I look like this before lockdown?
I know this is just my anxiety talking but it is helping me to write this down and I am honest with my lovely readers, who knows maybe I am not the only one who feels like this?
Are you getting a complex with food during lockdown?