I have said it before and I will say it again. Can we not have time in the day when we stop talking about Covid19. Talking about it every single hour, minute and second of the day is seriously doing my head in. I am trying my best to block out what I can but it is still seeping through. Not wanting to talk about it does not make me weak or frail. I am trying to protect my mental health.
This was I posted on my Facebook Page a couple of weeks ago and I still believe in that now.
At the start of lockdown in March, I was feeling alright, I was on furlough and I felt happy and safe. It is now 2 months down the line and if I am honest, I am not happy I am not coping well with Covid19.
My mental health is being affected,don’t get me wrong I have bad days and good days. But I am sick of being in the house and not able to go anywhere or do anything. I understand it is for the good of everyone’s health but how much longer are we to suffer inside, when will this coronavirus be gone?
My part job is all up in the air at the moment. I can’t say too much but I have no idea if I have a job or not at the moment which is very unnerving but also motivating.
My Self Care has stopped, I don’t do yoga, pilates, mediate or treat myself to a home pamper session. I just don’t see the point anymore, every day I am feeling anxious and stressed with the news of Covid19- so what is the point in looking after myself.
Everything nice has stopped because of how I feel and am coping during the lockdown. Any News updates that are to do with COVID I have put on mute, no matter if it is good or bad I am not interested. I have turned off all social media and all news outlets including radio. It is increasing my Anxiety to a place that I have not seen myself in, I get to some dark and sad places and it is an awful feeling.
My family are obsessed with the news and Covid19, it is all we ever seem to talk about it and I try to block it out but it can be very difficult. I do try and tell them I don’t want to hear it but they simply don’t understand. I am only trying to protect my mental health.
Things need to go back to normal, I know things won’t be the same to start with, with social distancing measures still in place but I can’t be kept in the house. I want to go out and see the world again, going to the theatre, the park, the shops etc I am going mad being stuck in. I just can’t wait till eventually restrictions will be lifted and we can all live our lives like we used to.
Again, I totally understand why we have to have a lockdown but we can’t be stuck in the house forever, I can’t anyway. The more I stay in, the more I am afraid to go outside.
When I hear some positive news that things are being put in place so that we can return to some sort of normal then I will feel relaxed. But till that time comes I am feeling very anxious about the whole thing and I worry about how much more of being in lockdown I can cope with.
End of rant.
Gemma's Journey 