When I used to perform on stage whether it was dance or drama, we always got an applause (sometimes a standing ovation) after each performance. It felt amazing, I always got a thrill.
That got me thinking about where I am now. You see, I don’t perform anymore and I miss it. I miss the applause and that feeling of appreciation and love- someone thinking you are amazing and they love you, so they show it by clapping.
Of course, I know that I am loved by my friends and family, that is not what I am getting at. I mean after doing a piece of work or something big that I am proud of, if nobody says well done or says that they love it- I start to feel anxious.
In my performing world, I was so used to receiving praise. Now that I don’t always get it, I get anxious. I start to worry if I am not good enough or if my work is not the best it could be. At least when I was performing and I got applause from the audience, I knew I had done good. If I finish a blog or I have done well in my current internship- no applause.
I do often wonder if that stems from my performing days. Or is that just something that is natural and can happen to anyone? I do miss the thrill and I don’t really get that now, not much anyway.
Gemma's Journey 